My friend Carol helps leads us in yoga practice on a tennis court in Florence, Italy, June, 2007. I’m there in the middle doing a very sloppy sitting spinal twist.
Monthly Archives: February 2014
Satisfying Your Soul: Yoga & Poetry
Day 40. My house is filled with the various aromas of a farmer’s market–home fries from Dad’s breakfast, Mom’s homemade banana bread, and the dill & vinegar from the pickles I made for a snack (& can enjoy in three to twelve weeks). Between the cooking and the yoga and reading and two loads of laundry, I can happily say that today was quite productive.
Today I read some poetry, which isn’t entirely out of character, but it was more of a feast than my daily h’oeuvres d’oeuvres-sized portions. It started with a Facebook post from my friend about “Gregory Sheryl, the accidental poet” that led me to read some of his work. Sherl is becoming quite popular, it seems{*}. His work is “devotional, obsessive and erotic, his poems are marked with a sense of urgency.” Clever and poignant with lines like
“If marijuana is a gateway drug, then what is a blowjob?”
Then I took to a few unopened emails from Poetry Foundation’s “Poem of the Day.” This time, X J Kennedy’s stanza from “Hippogriff” burrowed into my mind. Is there a poetry equivalent to an earworm?
“I wish the Hippogriff/Would take me for a ride. Of course/It’s not real./But oh, if . . .!”
Poetry, I learned today, translates to “I create” (Greek). What these two poets have created didn’t leave me with a better understanding of myself, but they made me stop and think. Think about their writing; why it made me stop. Made me think about what those lines mean to me and if my writing will ever do the same for others. Poetry, like yoga, creates something new and different in the reader. If just for the time being, so be it. (“But oh, if…!”)
Today I completed Day 08 of Yoga Journal’s 21-Day Yoga Challenge. The first week flew by!
“In today’s video,” the email reads. “Jason Crandell offers a different quick fix: a practice to stimulate your energy while soothing your mind.” And it’s true. Afterwards my awareness was simultaneously sharper and subdued, a high effect like the first drag of a cigarette. (A poem?)
I’m really enjoying yogi Jason Crandell’s approach to the practice. My friend Jessie, who’s participating in the challenge with me, and I have both expressed our admiration, citing his videos to be our favorites thus far.
(Side note: On a recent visit to his website, I found an archive of his published articles that I’ll have to peruse later.)
Crandell is trusting. Weirdly, I feel that he attune to my body. Not only is his attention to the details in the body–what we should be feeling, what you may feel and isn’t correct, etc.–crazy, but his being able to contextualize how one should move to better his or her postures is truly enlightening.
Funny enough, today I was reading an article on MindBodyGreen. “10 Tips For Anyone New To Yoga,” it said. Go on, said I.
Author Hawah Kasat suggests a few good things for the aspiring yogi like “sticking with it,” “ask questions,” and knowing that yoga has been practiced for “more than 2,500 years.” But number four stuck out at me:
Find a teacher who speaks your language.
I’m constantly trying to find new ways to describe my practice. Actually, when I was participating in DoYouYoga’s 30-Day Yoga Challenge with Erin Motz, I messaged her on Facebook to tell her so.
But after “meeting” Crandell I feel like he speaks my language. I want details and he doesn’t skimp. He creates an understanding that, like a poem, blossoms in my belly and leaves me satisfied.
Namaste.
* * *
Doesn’t look like I posted my goals last week, but here they are, mostly completed:
my goals from last week:
finishThe Best American Essays 2013start reading Emma Brockers’s memoir She Left Me the Guncontinue with my daily yoga routine, meditate/sign up for the 21-Day Yoga Challenge- look (or apply) to new jobs
Wach Yoga Is: A Transformational Journey- write five pages of prose. any kind of prose. new or old. just get those words on paper! {wrote almost four}
my goals for this week:
- continue reading (finish?) Emma Brockers’s memoir She Left Me the Gun
- continue with my daily yoga routine, meditate/sign up for the 21-Day Yoga Challenge
- look (or apply) to new jobs
- write five pages of prose. any kind of prose. new or old. just get those words on paper!
- finish the unread copies of The Sun & EW sitting beside my bed for two months
* * *
*Update: Well this is unfortunate if it’s true.
Why you should stretch your tongue – and this is how to do it!
So the other day, when I was standing in Victory Goddess (do you know how weird it is to say that?) with my tongue out, I didn’t realize that I was working these little muscles:
When I was little, sticking my tongue out just felt great. I wanted to do it all the time, whenever something or someone really sucked. Parents, teachers, rules, restrictions – baaah. The only time I indeed refused vehemently was – exactly, when the doctor asked me to.
Years of training in appropriate behaviour later, there finally comes the chance to stick out my tongue in a totally sanctioned environment – the yoga class. It’s not only okay, it’s absolutely encouraged. Yogis call it Lion’s Breath, and hhmm, it still feels good. 🙂
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The Ultimate Breakdown
Day 38. Earth has split. Titans released from its bowels for an epic battle between the gods, man, et al.
Result: death.
If you’re reading this you’ve survived Ragnarok, too. Or perhaps you’re reading this from the bottom of the sea just as the Vikings predicted would happen today: February 22, 2014, The End of the World. According to The Usborne Book of Greek and Norse Legends, “the dreadful wolves, Skoll and Hati, will finally catch and swallow the sun and moon. The stars will go out, leaving the world in darkness.” The gods will fight, there will be some natural disasters (thundersnow, anyone?), and all but two humans will die.
“It’s kind of like the Hunger Games but with pissed-off ancient deities. The earth will sink, the world will burn, and things will get maximum gnarly, death-wise.” {source}
But not to worry. Everything will be reborn. An existence “where wickedness and misery no longer exist.” {source}
Since I was a child I’ve struggled with my appointed Catholicism, but as I get older and don’t immediately shun the idea of organized religion as I did so many years ago (hey, we’re all looking for the answers) I am noticing the similarities between them:
Today was Dooms Day, according to the Vikings. Mayans predicted the human race’s demise to be December 21, 2012. Rabbi Jonathan Cahn foresees our near-godless America to shadow ancient Israel’s collapse next year.
Hindus believe that everything must crumble; be destroyed. Out of the ashes and rubble will arise greatness. When I first heard this I had recently been diagnosed with vasculitis and I thought, how poetic. Was my body just breaking itself down to prepare for something better? Was pushing through the fatigue and aches going to result in a better me? So far, so good.
One thing I’ve noticed in the past two months is that since I’ve started yoga (ie: taking it very seriously), slowing things down, and making weekly lists, life feels fuller. I often heard that when you take time to give to yourself, you give more to others. Yes, that’s true, but I also found that I’m giving even more of myself to myself. I’ve been making more time for the things I love which means I’m reading and writing more, practicing yoga outside my daily challenges, and listening to my body and responding. I’m letting go and accepting things.
Today’s challenge was core, thankfully. (Recently I’ve felt the need to focus on core.)
In today’s email:
“In yoga, core work isn’t about six-pack abs. It’s about bringing more awareness to your physical center, building abdominal strength in a healthy way, and infusing awareness and strength into the rest of your practice.”
That’s good to remember since I’ve been hoping that somewhere beneath that little mush of Doritos and occasional Yuengling a six pack might emerge.
Continued: “A strong core improves nearly every pose, from basic standing poses to arm balances and inversions. It also enhances low-back health and protects you from injury in your everyday life. You may even find that strengthening your literal center helps you stay centered emotionally. “
I guess subconsciously I knew that since I’ve been having trouble with my triangles and a few other balances.
One thing I’ve been thinking about all day was yogi Rebecca Urban‘s instruction to “breathe into your belly brain.” Belly brain? Is this one of those “potent” asanas the 21-Day Yoga Challenge was going on about the other day? With a little investigation I found that this refers to the stomach.
“Technically known as the enteric nervous system, the second brain consists of sheaths of neurons embedded in the walls of the long tube of our gut, or alimentary canal, which measures about nine meters end to end from the esophagus to the anus. The second brain contains some 100 million neurons, more than in either the spinal cord or the peripheral nervous system, [Michael] Gershon says.” {source}
Meditating is said to have many health benefits, so perhaps breathing into your “brain belly” sparks your inner flame, providing warmth and energy for your practice.
Outside the sun melts the white earth into a river, but there are no floods, nor giant snakes; no flames & no Thor. Tomorrow will go on. That is to say, World Yoga Day will go on. But what if the world did end today only to be reborn on such a joyous day? Think how poetic that would have been.
Namaste.
P.S.
Does anyone watch Shark Tank on ABC? Last night former WCW star, Diamond Dallas Page, was on seeking investment for his yogic workout, DDP Yoga:
Perhaps that’ll go on my (nonexistent) 2014 Yoga Challenge List.
Saluting the Sun, Myself
Day 36. Today we saluted the sun. Over the years, as my body has grown more accustomed to the asanas, I’ve really learned to love Sun Salutation. Traditionally, Sun Salutation is performed outside, but if you’re anywhere near the snowpocalypse–or have nosy neighbors and great-aunts who live with you–it’s just as effective indoors.
“The practice includes one version of Surya Namaska, or Sun Salutation, which has symbolic meaning as well as physical benefits,” it says in the email. “The flowing asana sequence is a way of honoring the sun (Surya), the hear of our solar system and the source of life on earth.”
Saluting the sun is invigorating, producing a natural energy, and even a little glossing of sweat!
Although I’ve done Sun Salutation a hundred times, I really focused on how my body felt as I flowed through the practice. I felt strong and grounded, my muscles stretching like the roots of the trees into my mat. And it was nice to just listen to the instructor Jason Crandell since I already knew the series of asanas.
Understandably I’m only on Day 03 of Yoga Journal’s 21-Day Yoga Challenge, but sometimes I wish I had signed up for the intermediate videos. I expressed this to my friend Jess who is participating in the challenge with me. “They seem too easy,” I told her. (implied: “for me.”) But then we wouldn’t be doing the same sequences, she said. We both agreed that wouldn’t be fun. Plus, it’s only Day 03. I know I think I’m better at yoga than I actually am, this we can attest from my headstand mishap, so I don’t want to get ahead of myself.
What I do like about this challenge is that because I am a little more advanced that I feel is that they humble me, make me take my time and hone my asanas. Today was proof of that. My plank and downward dog have never been better. Had I jumped ahead to do more strenuous sequences and asanas I might have hurt myself.
Taking my time and focusing on my breath is really what I should be practicing. Eventually I’ll move on to bigger and better things. For now that thought’ll suffice.
Namaste.
The Change
Day 35. As I sit down to write this I’m still a little out of breath from today’s practice. The shortest of Yoga Journal’s 21-Day Yoga Challenge, the email said in fine print (“–but potent nonetheless”). Potent? It makes me think of sharp cheese or cocaine or something with more of a kick, but not yoga.
The point of today’s challenge was “connecting with your inner joy.” (Again: potent?)
Lilias Folan, the instructor leading today’s practice, guides us through a series of asanas–star pose, triangle, and so forth. I struggled with the balances, but I reasoned that was because I was in wool socks on a thick rug sans my yoga mat. (I wasn’t planning on doing the challenge until bedtime, but I was at a friend’s house and had a few spare minutes.)
After repeatedly triangulating there was Utkata Konasana: Victory Goddess.
I had never done Victory Goddess before and, aside from feeling silly as I stuck my tongue out à la the demon from Insidious, I was curious as to how I could benefit from this pose.
YogaOutlet.com says that “this pose strengthens the entire lower body, including the glutes, hips, thighs, calves, and ankles. It opens the hips and chest, stretches the thighs, and elongates the spine.”
As I stood firmly, my legs wide and my tongue out, we were told to let out a long stream of air. My breath was warm and thick (say: rejuvenating!).
Finishing the practice in savasana, Lilias says:
“Ponder all the blessings in your life.”
We started the practice today with the something similar: “What am I grateful for?” She asked. “Let sweet memories and thoughts come to you…feel a warm, healing energy fill your chest.”
I pictured my family–my parents, sisters, brothers, nieces & nephews; I saw my friends: all still images from various hikes, camping trips, parties, et cetra. There were trees with rays of sunshine streaming through their deep green canopies; and the sound of rain behind my eyes (I’m a proud pluviophile). I reminded myself–as I often do–how blessed I am to have my health and a job and supportive loved ones.
Lying on the floor, I let happy thoughts continue to ebb and flow, but I kept coming back to a theme that, for the past few days, has been reverberating within my mind like a singing bowl: the importance of loving oneself.
First there was the documentary “Yoga Is: A Transformational Journey” in which journalist-turned-psychologist Suzanne Bryant looks for peace in the wake of her mother’s imminent death. Through yoga she learns that bliss is within, bringing calmness in the midst of chaos.
“We are yoga,” Sharon Gannon says in the same documentary. “We are boundless joy.”
I’m learning that we must love & embrace our flaws and to be content in our skin. Other yogis touched upon the practice and it’s ability to alleviate stress, in turn, giving one the ability to change his or her life.
Bryant says: “Change forces us to look within; to stop and face our truth.” It’s one element that is constant; inevitable.
Then there was this quote from Linda Sparrowe I read earlier:
“Yoga helps [us] become friends with ourselves. We learn through yoga that we are perfect just the way we are.”
I guess these “stumbling-upons” are serendipitous or perhaps just sheer coincidence. But they were there. That’s the truth. And the more potent something is the less you can ignore it.
Namaste.
New Day, New Challenge
Day 34. Today my friend and I start Yoga Journal’s 21-Day Yoga Challenge. I’m excited to have a friend to keep me motivated during my practice, and I hope I can do the same; bring something from my journey to aid her new one.
I keep thinking I’m nervous, but I don’t think that’s the right word. What’s so nerve-wracking about another yoga challenge? Okay, there was the whole falling into radiators thing (which, by the way, I’ve put headstand on hold for now), but that was my fault. I pushed myself too hard instead of taking my time. Perhaps I’m nervous about “meeting” the new instructor, Kate Holcombe, or maybe it’s the worrying about not being able to do a particular asana. So, no, not “nervous.” I believe “apprehensive” is the word I’m really looking for.
What I’m realizing now (with the help of “Yoga Is: A Transformational Journey“) is that yoga is about looking deep into the darkness and shedding light on all that scary shit we’re trying to overcome; it is not about escaping, but re-inhabiting the world and forcing us to be present. Yoga not only cleanses the body, but also the mind and spirit. Today I’ll bring to the mat my previous knowledge & humility, and not worry about getting my asanas right. I’m just going to practice.
Namaste.
* * *
I’ve received the first email. Today’s tip:
“On this first day of the Yoga Challenge, make a commitment to honor your breath. One way to do that is to begin and end each practice with a few moments of breath observation. Kate Holcombe recommends placing one hand on your belly, feeling it expand with each inhale and gently contract with each exhale.”
Oh, there’s also this.
Mini Yogi; or A Little Yoga
Day 32. My niece Maebh loves my new yoga blocks. After I showed her my crow pose using the cork blocks, she insisted on trying herself. From behind, I lifted her legs and told her to put her butt in the air. “I do it!” She exclaimed as I held on to her little thighs. Keep looking forward, I told her as if I had some authority in the subject. She was ecstatic, bubbling over with an excitement far too much to contain in her compact frame.
Later she tried by herself, getting frustrated because she couldn’t keep her legs to stay in the air.
Her determination was inspiring and familiar. Listening to her cub grunts as she tried to emulate her behemoth uncle’s bakasana, I thought back to the beginning of January when I signed up for Erin Motz’s 30-Day Yoga Challenge.
The challenge was just something to do to keep me active and in practice. I didn’t think that I’d exceed my yogic expectations so soon. In just thirty days I learned a new pose that I never thought I’d be able to do, but more importantly my inner-reflection and self-confidence have soared.
I’ve surrounded myself with my practice by watching videos to learn from other yogis; my Facebook feed–which is typically a public forum of misery and dark pictures of cold food–has more articles from Do You Yoga, MindBodyGreen, YogaDork & Daily Cup of Yoga to keep me inspired, motivated, aware. And yogis in various asanas have taken over my Instagram to remind me to keep moving forward.
Every day (save for the past two days I’ve been annoyingly congested) I look forward to taking to my mat. When you give to yourself, you’re more apt to want to give to others. In four weeks I’ve formed a healthy habit that I want to continue to grow. I’m okay with a little bumps and bruises.
The other night my friends and I were half-watching the Olympics. Canadian figure skater Kaetlyn Osmond looked like a wisp of black smoke in her sequin outfit as she floated over the ice.
To paraphrase my friend Sean: These–the Olympians–are the people who weren’t afraid to get hurt. They’re the ones who kept getting up after falling and scratching and breaking things. They weren’t deterred by a bit of frustration. They’re the ones who didn’t think they’d ever be able to do clockwise jumps or whatever else it is that Olympians do in Sochi nowadays.
When Sean and I were rock climbing a few years ago, I admired the way he was able to send (what I thought to be) hard routes: ones where you have to flag your leg and then jump; or hang like stalactite from a cave of tiny holds. He was fearless and calm and contained a self-determination I was struggling to find in myself. I miss climbing. We stopped so I could soujourn to Liverpool for half a year. But with yoga I feel as though I always possessed that willpower, an expedition for new discoveries. I found a place within myself that allows me to be true and do the impossible.
Like Walt Disney said, “It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.”
Namaste.
In which I am a terrible dancer…
Day 28. Day 28…I can’t believe I only have two more days with Erin Motz. Then it’s on to Yoga Journal’s 21 Day Challenge.
For the most part I feel fine since I failed headstand. No, not failed. Tried. My neck doesn’t hurt, and I can move it normally, but it feels a little stiff. Honestly, I think it’s the muscles in my neck just responding to the yogic workout (my neck looks more defined), or maybe I’m just not being honest with myself. Regardless, I’m being mindful of my movements both on and off the mat. Listening to my body. That orbital headstand was a reminder to take my time and remain self-aware.
With that said, I was able to do yesterday’s yoga challenge. Today’s should have been easy for me; a pose I’ve done before, mimicking (notice: not listening. not learning.) other yogis years ago: Dancer Pose.
Gazing at the the tapestry of the Tree of Life that hangs over my murderous radiator, I moved into dancers pose, making sure to pay careful mind to my back as I lifted my leg up. My mind would wander and I’d start to rock. Stare at the bugs around the tree. Then I’d sway a little more and start to fall, but regain my balance…then fall a little. Then get frustrated because a pose I know I can do, have done–just the other day!–suddenly seemed foreign to me. But not every day is the same, I’d remind myself. Shut up! Would respond my inner, disgruntled yogi. You don’t know me! I know this.
But it’s true. Every day is different. I can see that now that I’ve finished the challenge. Instead of telling myself how easy a pose is I should just approach it with mindfulness and respect. Breathe and execute. Today my ego got the best of me on the mat. That damn ego. Always getting in the way.
Namaste.
my goals from last week:
- finish The Best American Essays 2013 (seriously, almost there.)
continue with my daily yoga routine, meditate- l
ook (or apply) to new jobs - send thank you letter to my cousin
- learn about “svadhyaya” (self-study) (I’m going to put this one on hold.)
watch last episode of Top of the Lake(I knew it!)
my goals for this week:
- finish The Best American Essays 2013
- continue with my daily yoga routine, meditate (My first yoga blocks are in the mail.)
- look (or apply) to new jobs
- send thank you letter to my cousin
- Wach Yoga Is: A Transformational Journey
(Now I want to do yoga in Times Square.)
- write five pages of prose. any kind of prose. new or old. just get those words on paper!
Day by Yoga 